400am: Awoken by crippling cramp in leg. Shout so loudly Seth falls out of bed, reminiscent of Cher in Clueless when she tries to seduce Christian.
730am: Alarm goes off. Reach to snooze and realize have been snoozing for 45 minutes and am now late. Jump up so quickly my leg cramps again. Hobble to shower.
755am: Miraculously ready on time. Realize its raining and leg still hurts. Wear sneakers to commute, ala Working Girl. Anna Wintour weeps somewhere in the West Village and does not know why.
805am: On train to work. Relax in cool, quiet seat. Congratulate self on getting ready in 12 minutes. Realize my outfit looks like I got ready in 12 minutes. Curse silently.
807am: Overhear man speaking on phone saying “Like the Terminator, I will be back.” Over and over. Realize man is not on phone but is speaking to commuters. Man’s voice gets louder and louder until he is screaming about persecution, Jesus and various other philosophies. Listen to Britney to drown out screaming man. Fail.
825am: Walk to work in rain. Wonder if sick day is appropriate.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Welcome Home
this weekend seth and i flew the coop and headed to hippie town, usa - portland, oregon. it was an excellent trip deserving of its own blog post (pictures and all). this morning, however, i was treated to such a bizarre series of events, it deserved a post on its own (thanks to micol for the idea).
when planning this trip, seth and i decided to take the red eye home to get in as MUCH VACATION AS POSSIBLE. before the actual trip, that idea sounds genius. in practice, it’s painful. add in the events below and it is a wonder i am not curled in a ball somewhere.
we land this morning at 5:00am and the pilot taunts us by telling us how hot it is. i am cranky and tired and silently cursing the pilot for how funny he thinks 100 degree heat is. we jet home in a taxi in record time. home is a sweltering sauna because no one has even cracked a window in my apartment for the past four days. i try to go to sleep for another hour or so but it is so hot in the apartment it is impossible to get comfortable. naturally i end up dozing and manage to oversleep. i catch the train late and get to newark around 8:45 (15 minutes past when i am supposed to arrive at work). being that i have a 10 minute walk, its 1000 degrees and i am late, i decide a cab is really the only way to go.
i find a cab quickly and we take off. i am optimistic that i might make it to work before 9am. oh jamie, you are thinking, things cannot be that easy! of course, the light in front of the train station is broken, refusing to turn green. i start arguing with the cab driver that he has to just turn on red since it is obvious the light isn’t turning green. (there is absolutely no way I am walking in this heat so i have resorted to badgering the driver). mr. cab driver will not turn because he fears getting a ticket.
he then gets out of the cab and starts caucusing with other cab drivers. they determine that the cabs must move up closer to the intersection so the sensor for the light realizes it needs to turn green.
we move up.
nothing happens.
honking commences.
finally i say "DUDE, JUST TURN."
and then it turns green.
he then tells me that he won't charge me what's on the meter and that i can just give him $7 (the normal fare). now we are friends again.
we begin chatting and i find out he is a part time cab driver because he is a medical student at UMDNJ. he tells me he is a physician in haiti but he needs to pass his medical boards here. he is quite nice so i listen, blah blah (completely unsure whether i believe him, but who cares, he sounds interesting).
he drops me off at work.
and i say "nice chatting with you, good luck."
and he says "why don't we trade phone numbers?"
and i say "um... what?"
and he goes "phone numbers, you know"
so i think he means so i can call him for cab rides!
so i say "why?"
and he says "so we can chat, nothing crazy"
and i say "well, i am married" (feeling totally awkward already) and he responds "i am not married!"
to which i say "well, i am"
and he says "ohhhhhhhhhhh, ummmmmmmmmmm, ooooooooooooh, well, ok"
and he drives off while my door is still partially open.
i step away from the curb wondering if i hallucinated that exchange, give up and head into the courthouse. i make a beeline straight for the coffee shop on the first floor only to find that the COFFEE MACHINE IS BROKEN.
mentally, i collapse in a heap of drama and exhaustion and decide its better for me to head home.
physically i trudge upstairs and weep silently at my fate
welcome to new york, baby. life is never dull.
when planning this trip, seth and i decided to take the red eye home to get in as MUCH VACATION AS POSSIBLE. before the actual trip, that idea sounds genius. in practice, it’s painful. add in the events below and it is a wonder i am not curled in a ball somewhere.
we land this morning at 5:00am and the pilot taunts us by telling us how hot it is. i am cranky and tired and silently cursing the pilot for how funny he thinks 100 degree heat is. we jet home in a taxi in record time. home is a sweltering sauna because no one has even cracked a window in my apartment for the past four days. i try to go to sleep for another hour or so but it is so hot in the apartment it is impossible to get comfortable. naturally i end up dozing and manage to oversleep. i catch the train late and get to newark around 8:45 (15 minutes past when i am supposed to arrive at work). being that i have a 10 minute walk, its 1000 degrees and i am late, i decide a cab is really the only way to go.
i find a cab quickly and we take off. i am optimistic that i might make it to work before 9am. oh jamie, you are thinking, things cannot be that easy! of course, the light in front of the train station is broken, refusing to turn green. i start arguing with the cab driver that he has to just turn on red since it is obvious the light isn’t turning green. (there is absolutely no way I am walking in this heat so i have resorted to badgering the driver). mr. cab driver will not turn because he fears getting a ticket.
he then gets out of the cab and starts caucusing with other cab drivers. they determine that the cabs must move up closer to the intersection so the sensor for the light realizes it needs to turn green.
we move up.
nothing happens.
honking commences.
finally i say "DUDE, JUST TURN."
and then it turns green.
he then tells me that he won't charge me what's on the meter and that i can just give him $7 (the normal fare). now we are friends again.
we begin chatting and i find out he is a part time cab driver because he is a medical student at UMDNJ. he tells me he is a physician in haiti but he needs to pass his medical boards here. he is quite nice so i listen, blah blah (completely unsure whether i believe him, but who cares, he sounds interesting).
he drops me off at work.
and i say "nice chatting with you, good luck."
and he says "why don't we trade phone numbers?"
and i say "um... what?"
and he goes "phone numbers, you know"
so i think he means so i can call him for cab rides!
so i say "why?"
and he says "so we can chat, nothing crazy"
and i say "well, i am married" (feeling totally awkward already) and he responds "i am not married!"
to which i say "well, i am"
and he says "ohhhhhhhhhhh, ummmmmmmmmmm, ooooooooooooh, well, ok"
and he drives off while my door is still partially open.
i step away from the curb wondering if i hallucinated that exchange, give up and head into the courthouse. i make a beeline straight for the coffee shop on the first floor only to find that the COFFEE MACHINE IS BROKEN.
mentally, i collapse in a heap of drama and exhaustion and decide its better for me to head home.
physically i trudge upstairs and weep silently at my fate
welcome to new york, baby. life is never dull.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Joy
It is your birthday. People from all over have called, emailed and sent notes with well wishes. You talk to your family, old and new. Your boss buys you lunch and brings in cupcakes. Everyone sings. You wish everything can always be this good.
That night, you come home, watch your favorite ABC Family tween drama and wait to go to dinner with your husband. It is a surprise so the anticipation adds to the excitement.
You walk to the subway with your husband, chattering like a monkey about your day, your dress, your upcoming trip to Portland. He seems a little anxious but you chalk that up to the surprise of the restaurant.
The restaurant turns out to be an old favorite. You get nostalgic thinking of old times. The host says "I have a great table for you guys upstairs.". You think "cool, this place is extra nice tonight." You walk upstairs and see a large group in front of you. Faces register but then they don't.
You think, "why are these people here that I know?"
"Surprise!"
It dawns on you, these people are all here for you. On a Wednesday. In the middle of summer. 20 of your favorite people in the world. Some have come in from New Jersey, hours away. Others spent the day
moving. Some you've known half your life and others you only recently became close to. You see women who are like sisters to you and the faces of your best friends (you miss a few that are too far away and realize they are there in spirit). You look around and see people from every part of your life talking and laughing. They all know each other and it amazes you.
Your husband has spent time and energy finding the perfect place and the perfect people so that he can finally give you the surprise party you have always wanted. You had no idea.
And you feel joy, pure joy, the entire night, spilling into the next morning.
That night, you come home, watch your favorite ABC Family tween drama and wait to go to dinner with your husband. It is a surprise so the anticipation adds to the excitement.
You walk to the subway with your husband, chattering like a monkey about your day, your dress, your upcoming trip to Portland. He seems a little anxious but you chalk that up to the surprise of the restaurant.
The restaurant turns out to be an old favorite. You get nostalgic thinking of old times. The host says "I have a great table for you guys upstairs.". You think "cool, this place is extra nice tonight." You walk upstairs and see a large group in front of you. Faces register but then they don't.
You think, "why are these people here that I know?"
"Surprise!"
It dawns on you, these people are all here for you. On a Wednesday. In the middle of summer. 20 of your favorite people in the world. Some have come in from New Jersey, hours away. Others spent the day
moving. Some you've known half your life and others you only recently became close to. You see women who are like sisters to you and the faces of your best friends (you miss a few that are too far away and realize they are there in spirit). You look around and see people from every part of your life talking and laughing. They all know each other and it amazes you.
Your husband has spent time and energy finding the perfect place and the perfect people so that he can finally give you the surprise party you have always wanted. You had no idea.
And you feel joy, pure joy, the entire night, spilling into the next morning.
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