I am proud

(1) that I followed my dream to move to New York and have had a great partner in crime in the journey;
(2) that I go to the gym three times a week;
(3) and when I can't make it, I don't beat myself up about it;
(4) that I can run a mile (no matter how long it takes me);
(5) that I read as much as I watch television;
(6) that I don't take myself too seriously;
(7) that I am reliable, honest and dependable;
(8) that I am changing things up at work;
(9) that I learn from past mistakes so I can avoid repeats;
(10) that I finally learned to save money.

sweet music

my favorite accordion player who plays in the tunnel leading to the 7 train in port authority played hava nagila yesterday and christmas carols today. i love that he is an equal opportunity musician. others apparently do too because his accordion case was overflowing with dollars. that made me smile even more when i added to the pile. tis the season!

present

is probably one of my favorite words in the english language. and i am not exaggerating when i say i get the same level of joy in getting a present as i do when i find the perfect present for someone i love. i have often thought wistfully about having a personal shopping business where all i would do all day is buy presents. with other people's money. make chocolate calorie free and you'd be pretty much describing my version of heaven.

this year present buying is tough. s and i are saving every last penny for the wedding (well except the pennies i spent on that purse this weekend but that's not really relevant) and we didn't want to go overboard. we generally go a little nutty on each other's presents but this year we agreed to exchange small and meaningful gifts (i.e. i am not allowed to go to saks and buy very expensive cuff links for s). so i found a bunch of silly stuff which i am still equally excited to give him.

one wrinkle in my quest for affordable yet awesome presents - in my search of silly things i found a great present on a website, bought it, was charged for it and have heard nothing. so i went back to said website to look for the inevitable "contact us" page only to find there isn't one. i have never read the fine print on a website so closely as i have with this one and there is literally nothing.

i am not one to give up easily. i logged in to my handy credit card company website and found a phone number for this vendor. a few rings and the voice mail indicated that i was calling rob and i should leave a message. notwithstanding how bizarre this is, i did. so far, rob has not returned my calls. why am i not surprised?

now, i know i can just call my credit card company, dispute the charges and be on my way. but the point is, i so desperately want to buy this stupid $20 present for s that i am being unbelievably stubborn. i am determined to find a way to get this merchandise. even if i walk to chicago and shake it out of rob. which i might.

the moral of this story - s is damn picky so when i find a good present i really can't let go. i think s should stop being so picky so i can relax a little. it is definitely his fault.

patience

is not one of my strong suits. i should clarify. i am probably one of the most impatient people alive. i try not to show it but i am generally not successful. in fairness, i've gotten slightly better about controlling it, i.e. hiding it, in my old age, but only slightly.

so, sitting at work this week, waiting to find out what i will work on next is, to put it mildly, difficult. couple my impatience with an intense dislike of uncertainty and you have a very antsy person who is probably not fun to be around.

in reality, what i really want to do is sit at my desk and read twilight. which makes me an impatient 13 year old girl trapped in a 32 year old lawyer's body. thank goodness it is friday.

it's really cold

my aunt called me this morning and told me it is actually snowing in Philly. it was just 70 degrees last weekend. the freezing cold and the wind is making me miss vacation.

looking back at my pictures, how could i not? honeymoon planning is keeping me going though... santorini, here i come!

shoes shoes shoes

I am trying so hard not to spend money. Not only do I have a wedding/honeymoon to pay for, but I can't help but notice that everyone around me is scared for their life savings. I haven't even checked my 401(k) in months for fear I will have to work until I am 85. There is something to be said for cash in a savings account these days.

So, all of these emails about amazing sales going on at my favorites stores (that means you anthropologie) are just not helping my fiscal responsibility. I am all for helping the economy but one woman can't do it all. I can try but S might not be too happy about that...

back to reality

and we're back from vacation (cue the heavy sigh and very sad music). the trip was fantastic, filled with sunshine, lots of food, some serious driving in our hip pt cruiser and some extremely friendly people along the way.

the first part of the trip took us to LA where S and I met the genius who designed and made my beautiful engagement ring so that we could design our wedding rings. the trip was highly successful and very fun, until the part where our jeweler informed me that he needed to keep my engagement ring in order to make sure the wedding ring was a perfect match (cue my gasp of horror). in all seriousness though, it was really weird parting with it. the timing was as good as it could have been since we did so much hiking, but now that we are back in new york i feel like something is missing. i can't wait to get it back. (hint hint) S and I were also lucky to catch up with some friends in LA, do some shopping and site seeing, which included a Pauly Shore sighting, and eat some excellent sushi.

after LA, we flew to albuquerque to begin our mini tour of the southwest (well, part of new mexico and arizona anyway). we spent a night in albuquerque and stayed at the lovely mauger bed and breakfast in downtown albuquerque. while we very much enjoyed this adorable bed and breakfast (and ate a killer breakfast including homemade scones and perfectly cooked bacon), all in all albuquerque was not really worth the trip. we made the most of it by spending some time in olde town and then heading to the zoo. the gorillas and the polar bears were the highlight of the trip.

after albuquerque, we headed to santa fe. i will retire here. preferably, next week after i hit the lottery. this town has character and soul. the people are friendly, the food is fantastic and we stayed at the lovely el dorado hotel in downtown santa fe. s and i took a jog by the (dry) river and marveled at the simple but beautiful houses. i have never felt more relaxed.

we left santa fe and headed for our longest drive - 6 hours to sedona. before we left i wondered why no one responded to my chowhound post looking for notable places to stop along this car ride. now i know why. there is NOTHING there - nothing but a few very sad looking casinos, numerous mcdonalds and the occasional reservation. but then, just when you think it cannot get any more boring, oak canyon comes up and you are absolutely blown away. that 30 minutes of highway (excuse me, freeway) is well worth the six hours of previous torture.

sedona was an adventure itself. we took a spine rattling jeep ride, wandering into a vortex, sat in traffic trying to get to the best meal of the trip, saw ancient native american ruins, heard all sorts of alien conspiracy theories about why this native american tribe disappeared and had a mind blowing massage. pretty good for two days of adventure.

the last day of our trip brought us to phoenix. we accidentally booked a room at a 5 star resort, complete with multiple swimming pools, loads of activities and a spa. so naturally we left this oasis (thanks s) and went in search of the desert botanical garden in downtown phoenix and "america's best pizza." i'll leave the rest of this to the imagination - but suffice it to say there were a lot of catci and one of the best pizzas i have ever tasted.

Pizzeria Bianco - worth the potential 5 hour wait? not so sure. but it was damn good.

shop til you drop

The wedding is getting closer and closer (just seven months away by my count) and I continue to reflect about how I can make our wedding seem like us. If I can walk away from the big day with a shiny new ring, a lovely new husband and a feeling like my wedding was unique to S and I, I'll consider it a success. Right now, I am not so worried about minute by minute scheduling of the actual day, the perfection of flowers or even my shoes (ok that's not totally true) as I am about making sure our personalities shine through.

To that end, I have spent a lot of time trolling http://www.etsy.com/ to find artists who can create unique and affordable things to add to my day. (along the way I have also found some amazing gifts for friends and family). I feel great about supporting someone's art and the quality of work and professionalism I have encountered has been an added bonus. The many artists who make up the etsy community take their art and businesses very seriously and provide some excellent customer service. So far, I have ordered my invitations, my sign-in book, the men's boutonnieres and ladies' corsages and the cake topper from various vendors. And it's been nothing but a pleasure. Not too mention I find things everyday I want to buy. Today I am coveting this...



From etsy designer Pine Blossom
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5235111

the photo shoot

This weekend, of perfect 70 degree and sunny weather fame, S and I had the good fortune to have scheduled our engagement photo session. We met our wedding photographer on Sunday morning at 11:30am in front of Pastis for about an hour long photo session taken throughout meatpacking and the west village.

Side note, I highly recommend this endeavor to anyone, single, married, engaged, whatever. Hire someone to follow you around and take pictures. Or don't hire someone and just take your camera and snap away. It's ridiculous amounts of fun.

Anyway, we wandered throughout the warehouse-y (what's left of it) parts of meatpacking and ended up on Jane Street, Charles Lane and Horatio Street around Washington Street. This is hands down my favorite part of New York City. The houses (and they are houses) are immaculate yet they still maintain an unbelievable amount of personality. The flowers are lovingly maintained by the residents and are just one example of how much the people who live here understand how amazing these streets are. This neighborhood is virtually untouchable to mere mortals making even a decent living (by New York standards). I continue to believe that these houses have been in families for generations, bought by enterprising New Yorkers many years ago, who paid $10 for a full brownstone because at the time, the neighborhood was utter crap. I like to maintain this little fantasy as it (1) lets me be ok with never being able to live here and (2) it makes for some amazing story telling.

I was not lucky enough to be born into one of these families, so my only connection to this neighborhood are my many hours spent wandering around, discovering its intricacies and history and now, these engagement photos. Some of my best memories of this city lie on these streets, many of them with S. It is why we chose this neighborhood for our pictures and when I finally leave here, why it will be one of the first places I come back to visit. And when I look back at these photos, not only will I remember this utterly blissful time but I will also remember why I love this city so much. And that makes me smile.

just two weeks from now

I will be on vacation! S and I are traveling out to the Southwest for a good old fashioned road trip. Our last trip was seven months ago and I knew we wouldn't make it until May for our honeymoon. As a gentle nod to the ever decreasing value of our dollar, we decided to forgo our traditional sprint outside of the 48 states and check out some sites where our dollar actually means something. Since neither of us has been to New Mexico or Arizona, it seemed like a pretty cool place to check out. Maybe we will find enlightenment in the red rocks of Sedona and never come back. It's tempting...

My goal for this trip to eat some great food, take some pretty pictures and spend some quality time with S and some friends who live out west. Life has been way to hectic these days and we are both in desperate need of time to smell the roses. Or a cactus.

the weekly mitzvah

This week I went to Rosh Hashanah services with my dad. I try to go with him for one of the two days while my mom usually stays home and cooks up some amazing Jewish food. Normally, this yearly trip to the motherland consists of a huge meal, some family spats and about 12 minutes spent praying while everyone around me is whispering and checking out what everyone else is wearing. The other 3 hours I am actually in synagogue I traditionally catch up with people I've known since I am little but hardly ever see. This year was slightly different.

This time I actually sat in the sanctuary for longer than the traditional 12 minutes and listened to the Rabbi's sermon. I often find these sermons to be preachy and long and they usually come back to how we should all love Israel and move there and give money, etc... Surprisingly, the sermon this year was a little different. Don't get me wrong, there was plenty of Israel propaganda. But mixed in this year was a message about life's purpose. The Rabbi (a very young guy about 32 or so) talked what a mitzvah is. Growing up, I was always taught that a mitzvah is defined as a good deed. My parent's Rabbi, however, proposed a new definition for mitzvah - purpose. The Rabbi's hypothesis was that a mitzvah performed each day should be geared towards understanding your life's purpose, whatever that may be. The Rabbi differentiated this "life purpose" from "life goals" and cautioned against confusing the two.

I was really struck by his point. I often equate my "life purpose" with my "life goals" - i.e. success at work, happy at home, etc. In fact, however, I think I need to start differentiating between purpose and goals. Then, hopefully by working toward my purpose it will make it easier to reach my goals.

I have been reflecting a lot about what the Rabbi said and have decided to incorporate this into my daily living. For now, I am going to start simply with a purpose of extra kindness and tolerance to others - those I know and those I don't. And I don't mean just generally saying I'll be nicer, but instead, making a concerted effort to perform at least one act of kindness each week. I started this week by taking a few extra seconds to give some money to my favorite street performer who entertains me most mornings on my commute to work (who knew I loved the accordion so much). And what was I rewarded with? A huge smile, a sincere thanks and a great feeling which has already last for about two hours. I like this already.

we are...

S and I went to Penn State this weekend for our annual trip to watch a football game in the rain. S has season tickets and it makes him feel warm and fuzzy to see me wear blue and white and sit on really uncomfortable seats. I haven't sat as close to some of my family members as I did to the poor guy sitting next to me.

This is the third year we have made this pilgrimage to State College, PA. The first year we went, it poured. The second year we went, it was so cold I couldn't feel any of my extremities for 24 hours. And was heckled by those around me for having the audacity to bring a blanket. This year, once again, it rained. The weather gods are testing me.

All in all, though, the trip was very fun. We ate a lot, including hamburgers, a sausage and pepper sandwich, a soft pretzel and this...

Exhibit A - a sandwich consisting of rib meat, pulled pork and cole slaw. S ate the entire thing in about three bites.

Exhibit B - the aftermath. It wasn't pretty.

We also saw Amish people, cows and more farm houses than I have ever seen in one place. And of course, at the game we saw the most white shirts on any group of people ever. It had to be some kind of Guinness world record. And I got to wear a poncho.

Travel with S is fun and always an adventure. On the ride home, the Mini became tired and decided one of its tires no longer wished to be inflated. In spite of lots of rain, a very scary diner in Blairstown, New Jersey and a salty AAA tow truck driver, S and I stayed calm and even managed to sneak in a Target trip. I am now stocked up on stockings, workout pants and snacks. And the Mini is currently being outfitted with the world's most expensive tire. And S, well, he got to see Penn State kick some Illinois butt. That's all he ever needs.

my horoscope today

Although you may feel better about yourself today, you aren't quite ready to let go of an issue that has been bothering you. But obsessing over a molehill could turn it into a mountain, so be conscious of what you think about. Placing your attention on the positive attributes of love is healthier than focusing on the negativity of fear.

I should sky-write that last sentence or at least tattoo it across my ass.

on my wish list

1. An I-Phone (I am really behind the times)
2. A new wallet since the one I have likes to eat my money
3. A massage
4. Bliss steep clean face mask
5. Workout clothes for fall/winter
6. Suits for work that fit correctly
7. A cupcake

today's irony

The robotic voice in Grand Central wished me a nice day (twice) but not one person standing by me in a crowd of about 50 said "bless you" when I sneezed. And I even covered my mouth.

today is so good

So very very good. I get married in 8 months and move on to bigger and better things in 12. I feel quite optimistic. It's exciting to think about how things somehow always manage to work themselves out.

this weekend in nyc

Celebrities were definitely stalking me. In one weekend I saw:

1. Ian Ziering walking out of Penn Station (ok, technically not a celebrity anymore, but he did play Steve Sanders!)
2. Jason Biggs and some random girl carrying dry cleaning at Hudson and Bethune. Sighting was unconfirmed until random girl called him Jason.
3. Tommy Hilfiger on Broome Street in Soho with his daughter. Both are short.
4. Socialite whose name I cannot remember at Delicatessen on Prince and Lafayette.
Side Note: Food was quite good. Service was quite bad. Don't come too hungry and expect a serious wait. Assessment: wait until they pull it together and hire more servers.
5. Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger walking on Broome Street in the LES. This sighting was cool enough for me to see paparazzi pictures posted this morning right around where I saw them. But where were the paparazzi? I didn't see a thing. Plus, why didn't they take a picture of me? Makes no sense at all.

love actually would be my first choice

Today is one of those days where I would be very happy to make a cup of tea, curl up under a cashmere blanket and watch sappy movies all night. Clearly, I'm in a mood and I feel a little bad for S that he has to deal with me. (He would probably argue that he deserves more than just a little sympathy).

So instead and due to that little bit of sympathy for S, I am getting dressed and heading downtown for Mexican food tonight. The upside is that we are going to Mexicana Mama and the company for dinner will be lovely as well.

To perk myself up, I am researching my next big purchase. Shoes or bag?

Both. Definitely both.

In the next month I might be faced with a big decision. To distract myself, I will just day dream about walking downtown and handing over my credit card for these.

Shoes really do make everything better. If only I could find a more inexpensive habit.

it's so cute i can't stand it

I need to find to find a reason to buy him. Any reason at all will do.

happiness is

Watching Privileged and ordering from Uncle Nick's.

things that make me happy right now

1. Google Chat
2. Sour Cream and Onion Potato Chips
3. Changing into my flip flops
4. My upcoming spa appointment
5. Brunch
6. Making it to the gym on time
7. The New York Public Library
8. My sign-in book
9. Finding the perfect gift
10. Making lists

r.i.p. o.g.

Last night, S and I had dinner at O.G. Restaurant, a great little place on 6th Street and Avenue A. This restaurant means a lot to us for many reasons - two of which being that our first date was there and we ate there the night that he proposed. We had hoped to hold our rehearsal dinner there as well.

But these aren't the only reasons why I love this restaurant so much. O.G. Restaurant represents to me what is great about living in NYC. This restaurant has been successful for more than 10 years, in a city which chews up and spits out restaurants every day. In my opinion, its finest feature is its lack of pretense. You are always greeted at O.G. with a smile, a great wine recommendation, unbelievable food and a shockingly cheap bill at the end. The service never waivers and their dumplings are some of the best. New Yorkers live for these treasures amongst all of the fly by night, velvet rope ventures that seem to the riddle our neighborhoods all too frequently. O.G. makes you remember why you moved here - it feels like home.

Sadly (and after all that hype), O.G. is closing as of Saturday. The owner tells us he is tired, wants to try new things. I understand that, but selfishly I wish O.G. didn't have to close for him to do so. There are certainly lots of other places that I hold close to my heart in this city, but this one was at the top. I look forward to discovering my next O.G. (and I hope it also serves wasabi mashed potatoes).