Welcome Home

this weekend seth and i flew the coop and headed to hippie town, usa - portland, oregon.   it was an excellent trip deserving of its own blog post (pictures and all).   this morning, however, i was treated to such a bizarre series of events, it deserved a post on its own (thanks to micol for the idea).

when planning this trip, seth and i decided to take the red eye home to get in as MUCH VACATION AS POSSIBLE.  before the actual trip, that idea sounds genius.   in practice, it’s painful.   add in the events below and it is a wonder i am not curled in a ball somewhere. 

we land this morning at 5:00am and the pilot taunts us by telling us how hot it is.  i am cranky and tired and silently cursing the pilot for how funny he thinks 100 degree heat is.  we jet home in a taxi in record time.  home is a sweltering sauna because no one has even cracked a window in my apartment for the past four days.  i try to go to sleep for another hour or so but it is so hot in the apartment it is impossible to get comfortable.  naturally i end up dozing and manage to oversleep.   i catch the train late and get to newark around 8:45 (15 minutes past when i am supposed to arrive at work).   being that i have a 10 minute walk, its 1000 degrees and i am late, i decide a cab is really the only way to go.

i find a cab quickly and we take off. i am optimistic that i might make it to work before 9am.  oh jamie, you are thinking, things cannot be that easy!   of course, the light in front of the train station is broken, refusing to turn green.  i start arguing with the cab driver that he has to just turn on red since it is obvious the light isn’t turning green.  (there is absolutely no way I am walking in this heat so i have resorted to badgering the driver).  mr. cab driver will not turn because he fears getting a ticket.

he then gets out of the cab and starts caucusing with other cab drivers.  they determine that the cabs must move up closer to the intersection so the sensor for the light realizes it needs to turn green.

we move up.

nothing happens.

honking commences.

finally i say "DUDE, JUST TURN."

and then it turns green.

he then tells me that he won't charge me what's on the meter and that i can just give him $7 (the normal fare).  now we are friends again.

we begin chatting and i find out he is a part time cab driver because he is a medical student at UMDNJ.  he tells me he is a physician in haiti but he needs to pass his medical boards here.  he is quite nice so i listen, blah blah (completely unsure whether i believe him, but who cares, he sounds interesting).

he drops me off at work.

and i say "nice chatting with you, good luck."

and he says "why don't we trade phone numbers?"

and i say "um... what?"

and he goes "phone numbers, you know"

so i think he means so i can call him for cab rides!

so i say "why?"

and he says "so we can chat, nothing crazy"

and i say "well, i am married" (feeling totally awkward already) and he responds "i am not married!"

to which i say "well, i am"

and he says "ohhhhhhhhhhh, ummmmmmmmmmm, ooooooooooooh, well, ok"

and he drives off while my door is still partially open. 

i step away from the curb wondering if i hallucinated that exchange, give up and head into the courthouse.  i make a beeline straight for the coffee shop on the first floor only to find that the COFFEE MACHINE IS BROKEN.

mentally, i collapse in a heap of drama and exhaustion and decide its better for me to head home.

physically i trudge upstairs and weep silently at my fate

welcome to new york, baby.  life is never dull.