Monday, November 23, 2009

The Austin Chronicles, Part 1 - aka the great BBQ showdown

This weekend, New Jersey descended upon Austin, Texas in the form of Helen, Sean, Seth and me. Given the amount of eating, drinking and football packed into one weekend, it is only logical that the chronicles of this weekend be broken up into more than one post. We get shit done around here.

After an uneventful flight where Seth and Sean slept and Helen and I wished we could, we finally landed in Austin and were greeted by the best bear hug a girl could ask for from MJ. After lots of screaming, jumping around and tummy touches, the boys dragged us apart and managed to get us to the car. Naturally, we started the trip off on the right foot by heading directly to Lockhart, Texas for some serious BBQ eats. This crew was hungry and there would be no wussy activities like checking into the hotel prior to consuming massive amounts of meat.

We set off, aided by MJ's impeccable planning, the British man on the Garmin GPS telling us which way to turn and Austin's incredibly enormous truck (quit being dirty, he really has a truck). In a poetic turn of events, MJ programmed the GPS system so that our car appeared as a chipotle burrito on the screen.

On our way there, we discussed strategy. There were some impassioned speeches, pounding on dashboards and drooling. I think Sean actually threatened to get out of the car if we didn't order ribs at some point. Finally, we came to a consensus and decided to order sausage, brisket and one wild card item at each stop. We also decided to order beans and any other side dishes that looked appetizing. We would rate each place using MJ's handy rating card (printed in color and on card stock, no less) and after eating at all three places, determine the winner.

All in all, we made three stops, Kreuz Market, Smitty's and Black's. Words can't really do these BBQ joints justice, so behold, some pictures of where we were and what we ate.


BBQ Place #1, Kreuz Market: Note the clever use of signs and the disparaging remarks against vegetarians and forks.























Kreuz Market - before and after. Travel makes us hungry. We ate sausage, brisket, beans and our wild card was a pork chop. As you can see, there are only knives and spoons in these pictures. The signs don't lie.


























Question: Have you ever seen Seth look so happy?
Answer: Not even on our wedding day.














BBQ Place #2, Black's BBQ: We were actually still a little hungry by the time we arrived at Black's (which, as a side note, is right next door to Kreuz) but delirium was starting to set in. Same order here, but our wild card was ribs (yes, we agreed to Sean's demands). We also tried a few sides other than beans including sweet potatoes (Jamie's favorite), jalapeno cornbread (Helen's favorite) and creamed corn (no one's favorite).



























At Black's, we were treated to the Texas version of a salad. Delicious. Austin threw a fit that lettuce was involved in our meal at all but we sedated him with another sausage (quit being dirty, it really was a sausage).












BBQ Place #3, Smitty's: This is what happens when MJ, Jamie and Helen contract what is known in the medical profession as "meat induced insanity." At this point, we were full with a capital F. It wasn't pretty. Again, we encountered a no forks rule (what do Texans have against forks?) so we decided to build a house for the sausage. It needed shelter.




















And finally, the BBQ scorecards. After eating for two straight hours at three different places, we tallied the scores. The end result: a tie between Kreuz and Black's.











Since I am writing this post, Kreuz wins!


Stay tuned for the next installment of the Austin Chronicles. It just gets better.

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